I Got A Kindle Fire So Why Am I Complaining?

I have never desired an e-reader. There are aesthetic reasons, textural reasons, shopping reasons and the biggest reason of all. I simply do not want to turn a book on in order to read it. Being a reader to me is something exciting, enjoyable sometimes beyond measure, private (Yes, I blog reviews but only one other human who knows me knows that I do that and thus it shall ever be.) and completely devoid of technology. I do not want a book with an “On” button.

Last month a dear friend of mine was given an Amazon Kindle Fire as a party favor. Take a moment and imagine that life. Not only is this friend no reader but she has all the tech toys she wants. If as the result of a Christmas miracle she should suddenly want to read she could do so quite easily on I this-es and that-s.

So dear friend sent me this Kindle Fire with a note saying, “I know you don’t want this but try it and pass it on if you hate it.” I have followed her instructions. The outcome is that after playing with the Kindle and reading on the Kindle off and on for 3 weeks I do hate it. Not only is this machine boring and s-l-o-w but it’s ugly. The  layout of the ‘home page’, the carousel thing and the fact that these images cannot be altered and arranged on a background of my choosing instead of the hideous faux wooden bookcase (What is the point of that by the way? Is the unpleasant looking shelving supposed to lull me into thinking that in my hands is a marvelous library?) offends my sensibilities.

I don’t like the name of the thing either, Kindle Fire. Owwww… it will kindle you’re love of reading. Seriously? This was the best thinking that a giant, global company like Amazon could come up with? People got paid for thinking up this name and deciding that it was the right choice? What kind of world do we live in?

The Fire part? Why? It’s so hot, it will burning up the competition, set your mind on fire? Or perhaps it’s Amazon’s not so subtle hope that paper books will now only be good for setting on fire and using as kindling?

I have no problem with others liking e-readers. Go your own way people. My way is the kill a tree and make me a book out of it way. The Kindle Fire formerly known as mine has a new master, my nephew. He’s happy to have it.